Guide to Gettin' da Hell outta Turdsville

Famous Turdlockers are everywhere and we at turdlock.com are eager to find them. What better way to assure ourselves that there is life after Turd? And if there is one thing those (we) Turdlockers share it is, as says travel writer (and former Turdlocker) Andrew Rice, "exit velocity." That penchant for travel is never stronger than when one is locked in Turdsville.

Escaped Turdlocker Rice, author of two adventure travel guidebooks (Frommer's Great Outdoor Guide to Northern California and Frommer's Great Outdoor Guide to Southern California and Baja) writes on his website: “When I was five, my father the eternal graduate student finished his Ph.D. and moved the family to Turlock -- aka Turdlock -- California, a town whose claim to fame was and still is that it's the Turkey Capital of the World. Every fall, the Swanson and Foster Farms processing plants there churn 24-7; gutting, plucking and decapitating your Thanksgiving and Christmas birds. Each spring our elementary school took field trips to the Foster Farms Chicken plant where all the kids were given special hats and smocks to keep flying blood from ruining their clothes. If there's one thing this small Central Valley town gave me it was a strong sense of exit velocity. After high school I enrolled in the University of California Santa Barbara and never looked back.” (Andrew Rice at http://www.lisapalac.com/andrew.html)

Though Rice's guide to Northern California has no mention of Turdlock in its index, we know that in his heart of hearts he, like all of us, awaits the day that Turdlock finds its deserv-ed place in the anals of literature.