Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;where there is hatred, let me sow love;where there is injury, your pardon Lord;and where there's doubt, return the friggin' keys to their rightful owners.
14 February 2010
12 February 2010
Every year, Turdlock's Gay Scouts of America hosts an annual recognition dessert night to honor the best of the best. One of the best awarded at today’s celebration is Big Gay Al who was honored with the Gayest Scout Leader of the Year award.
“I feel pretty happy (gay) about getting the award,” Al said. “I am excited (super gay) to tell my dads.” Al is an active, exuberant, well-dressed, trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent scout leader in Turdlock and is very involved in his community. He is a deacon at the Turdlock Fatter-Day Saints Church and coaches the Turdlock men's cheerleader team.
Big Gay Al was nominated unanimously by his fellow scout leaders across the region. "He's the gayest of them all," said Scout leader James Dale. "We're so proud of Al. He personifies our
Today’s celebration kicked off with a proclamation of recognition signed by Turdlock Mayor John Lozer for the celebration:
07 February 2010
Congress shall make no law prohibiting the free exercise or abridging the right of the people peaceably to assemble and to dangle their ball sacks over and into one another's faces.
06 February 2010
04 February 2010
31 January 2010
29 January 2010
Turdlock.com nearly pooped our collective pants when reading the January 20 letter to the editor in the Modesto Bee entitled Gay couples should stop their whining. Dumb-ass Robert Gerisch, Jr. of Riverbank (whose last name, appropriately pronounced "garish," means offensive, excessive, gaudy, distressing, loud and fucking obnoxious), wrote:
"Same-sexers: I'm so sick of hearing you whine about Proposition 8. Get over it already! We voted, the majority won — you lost! Do you think you're special? You're not. Same-sex marriage isn't a natural thing."
We'd nearly lost our faith in podunk until the January 27 rebuttal from beloved Turdlocker Patrick Mitchell saved the day with his sensible response, Gays want equal treatment:
"It was with disgust and pity for the writer that I read 'Gay couples should stop their whining.' Interestingly, the writer [Gerisch] unintentionally got one thing right when he childishly taunted, 'Do you think you're special? You're not.' Gay people don't think they're special regarding marriage, and that's exactly the point. Gay people rightly believe they should be treated equally when it comes to marriage. While a majority of those who voted may have supported Proposition 8, it will be overturned — because matters of civil rights should never be decided by popularity contest."
Score for Turdlock! And another indication that Turdlock is on the road to becoming the tolerant, gay-friendly mecca that it's destined to be.
Read more about the turdlock.com "It Takes a Gay Village" Project.